Runciter Associates

Wild new Ubik salad dressing, not Italian, not French, but an entirely new and different taste treat that’s waking up the world. Wake up to Ubik and be wild! Safe when taken as directed.

Instant Ubik has all the fresh flavor of just brewed drip coffee. Your husband will say, Christ, Sally, I used to think your coffee was only so-so. But now, wow! Safe when taken as directed.

The best way to ask for beer is it sing out Ubik. Made from select hops, choice water, slow-aged for perfect flavor, Ubik is the nation’s number-one choice in beer. Made only in Cleveland.

Friends, this is clean-up time and we’re discounting all our silent, electric Ubiks by this much money. Yes, we’re throwing away the bluebook. And remember: every Ubik on our lot has been used only as directed.